So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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