i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
