he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
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As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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