I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
