Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize