I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
