Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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