Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
