i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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