youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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