doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
