she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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