It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
