32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
