Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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