The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dear god my vagina.
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