You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
