quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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