Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
