If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
