Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
