I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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