my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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