If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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