tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
