Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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