She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
