thus making me awesome and them whores
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Then you guys just all showered together...?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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