I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize