Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
