can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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