oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
