Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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