Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
