I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
