I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize