I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
