dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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