You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
