hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
