i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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