dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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