Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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