Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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