I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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