I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize