You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
