She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
