i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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