As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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