wrigley field is MILF paradise
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
