I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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