wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
