brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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