This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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