Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
