do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
