Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
