My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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