Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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