I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
