I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
