please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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